COMIC PULSE
("beautiful stories for ugly children")
My relationship with comic books has existed for a long time.
In addition
to many other things, the comic book form has represented the sexual awakening for which I was waiting. I have to say that I immediately realized, in a sense, that all those sexy men in costume were more than just paternal figures. But that wasn't clear when I was 14. These men in costume had the power to do whatever they wanted without limitations, even if they were just paper characters. To be more specific, they had powers beyond limitations but not as much power as I have in my mind because I am real. Their bodies were essential for me in building my fantasies for the future.
But, in fact, it was more about a personal problem in my relationship with my parents that was beneath the surface of my interest for comic books. My parents always acted if I had no real existence in their eyes. They were always fighting to know which one of them was supposed to be responsible for my sister and I: neither of them wanted to keep us especially after my sister Séverine was born, 3 years after myself. I had the perception that I was not interesting enough to be taken care of as a person. I was soon so tired of their game that I knew I could never respect them.
My first comics were offered to me by my father's sister, who is still the most maternal figure in my life. In a way, she adopt me as her own. Every summer I spent with her was a magic and beautiful time. It helped me deal with my personal scars, far away from my parents, and it helped me deal with my existence through being surrounded by those comic books which she allowed me to buy. She didn't know I was gay until last year when I told her in a letter. The only thing she suspected were my numerous sexual relations. But she was sure that I still read comics.
And I still find it suspicious that i continue to read comics, especially in looking at the way the visual codes are used. One of the biggest hoaxes ever committed was the comics' code authority label, which was generated, in the early 50's by doctor Werthmann who said : if your girls and boys read adventures of Wonder Woman or Superman there is a huge chance that they will turn into homosexuals (and violent as well).
Among the many hypocrisies there were : Spider-Man's aunt who remarried an invalid in a wheelchair (with visible sexual incompetence), Batman's partner that fled away to form his own team with the most gorgeous alien female creature, and Northstar who was the perfect handsome guy, obliged to change dimensions after revealing to his sister that he was gay and suffering from a terrible disease. Enough said. Why can't those characters be more representative of their audience ?
I don't masturbate anymore when reading comics, there are many other constructive and explicit ways to have sex, but I still have that attraction to men on Paper: so easy and ready to use.
And definitely more silent...
Montreal, 10 Février - 22 Octobre 1997. special thanks to Margaret Kasper
My relationship with comic books has existed for a long time.
In addition
to many other things, the comic book form has represented the sexual awakening for which I was waiting. I have to say that I immediately realized, in a sense, that all those sexy men in costume were more than just paternal figures. But that wasn't clear when I was 14. These men in costume had the power to do whatever they wanted without limitations, even if they were just paper characters. To be more specific, they had powers beyond limitations but not as much power as I have in my mind because I am real. Their bodies were essential for me in building my fantasies for the future.
But, in fact, it was more about a personal problem in my relationship with my parents that was beneath the surface of my interest for comic books. My parents always acted if I had no real existence in their eyes. They were always fighting to know which one of them was supposed to be responsible for my sister and I: neither of them wanted to keep us especially after my sister Séverine was born, 3 years after myself. I had the perception that I was not interesting enough to be taken care of as a person. I was soon so tired of their game that I knew I could never respect them.
My first comics were offered to me by my father's sister, who is still the most maternal figure in my life. In a way, she adopt me as her own. Every summer I spent with her was a magic and beautiful time. It helped me deal with my personal scars, far away from my parents, and it helped me deal with my existence through being surrounded by those comic books which she allowed me to buy. She didn't know I was gay until last year when I told her in a letter. The only thing she suspected were my numerous sexual relations. But she was sure that I still read comics.
And I still find it suspicious that i continue to read comics, especially in looking at the way the visual codes are used. One of the biggest hoaxes ever committed was the comics' code authority label, which was generated, in the early 50's by doctor Werthmann who said : if your girls and boys read adventures of Wonder Woman or Superman there is a huge chance that they will turn into homosexuals (and violent as well).
Among the many hypocrisies there were : Spider-Man's aunt who remarried an invalid in a wheelchair (with visible sexual incompetence), Batman's partner that fled away to form his own team with the most gorgeous alien female creature, and Northstar who was the perfect handsome guy, obliged to change dimensions after revealing to his sister that he was gay and suffering from a terrible disease. Enough said. Why can't those characters be more representative of their audience ?
I don't masturbate anymore when reading comics, there are many other constructive and explicit ways to have sex, but I still have that attraction to men on Paper: so easy and ready to use.
And definitely more silent...
Montreal, 10 Février - 22 Octobre 1997. special thanks to Margaret Kasper
10/22/97
